In a society where we have more than ever before, it can be difficult to think that we are simultaneously the most unhappy than ever before. We can connect with people from all around the world, we are living longer, we have access to better healthcare, technology, and resources that we have never accessed before. Still, according to Mind, 1 in 6 people report experiencing a common mental health problem in any given week, and 1 in 5 people experience suicidal thoughts. To me, that is completely not okay. There’s definitely a lot of different questions and factors that come into this, including some larger systemic problems that are not within our immediate control. For now, I will offer my perspective on a certain concept that is within our control as individuals.
The Hedonic Treadmill
The Hedonic Treadmill (or Hedonic Adaptation) is humanity’s constant chase for more, yet no matter what we get or achieve, we are still never truly satisfied. We have a belief that when we get that ‘something’, we will be happier. For example, when we ‘get that higher paying job’, ‘get married’, ‘get that expensive car’, and so on. People may spend several years or even dedicate their whole life to this ‘something’, not realising that the happiness it brings them will only be short-term. Whilst huge milestones in life are amazing and definitely encouraged, it is important to be aware that once this ‘something’ becomes our new normal, we inevitably return back to the same level of happiness as before we had it. Then, we look for the next ‘something’ to make us happy, and the cycle repeats itself – as if we are running on a treadmill, but not actually going anywhere.
People may argue that these things do make them ‘happier’ people, but I would argue that it is not the achieved ‘something’ that made them happier, but rather their perceived self-worth has increased once they achieved this ‘something’. So, inevitably when things don’t quite go their way, their perceived self-worth will decrease, and they become unhappy. In this way, their emotional state becomes sensitive to uncontrollable circumstances. Thus, people believe they need to have external successes in order to be worthy, when actually we are all equally worthy as people no matter what we have or haven’t got or achieved. In a culture of comparison and the pressure to ‘do it all’ and ‘be it all’, it brings the question: will there ever be a point where we have enough to make us happy, or is it just a never-ending chase for more?
As cheesy as it may sound, true happiness really is internal (controllable), rather than external (uncontrollable). What brings you meaning, fulfilment, and purpose? Are you truly enjoying the process of what you do, or are you just waiting for the end product? What is your internal dialogue like, do you have a healthy relationship with yourself? Gratitude, inner peace, and fulfilment is what we should be aiming for, over results, validation, and money.
Fee Teng Liew 