Firstly, it is important to point out that developing internal happiness is not going to happen overnight. Unfortunately, as much as I wish it would, no one is going to miraculously cultivate greater happiness after reading this article. It really comes from you putting in the work yourself, finding resources outside of this article, and putting what you’ve learnt into action. This article can help guide you or plant some seeds in your mind, but it is up to you to water and nurture those seeds in order to see progress.
Now lets talk about gratitude, i.e. the quality of being thankful. Okay, before you roll your eyes and leave, hear me out for a second. If you can get past that automatic cringe or eye roll response after hearing the word ‘gratitude’ and see it for what it really is, you may actually surprise yourself. Being a scientifically proven method to increase happiness, practicing gratitude increases the ‘feel good’ chemicals in our brain, specifically serotonin and dopamine. Overtime, this strengthens specific neural pathways and eventually rewires our brain to think more positively and gratefully. Pretty cool right? Think of it like when we workout a specific muscle. With consistent practice, strength in that muscle will be built over time and we physically feel much stronger. And trust me when I say that it is truly an amazing feeling when you can feel the benefits of this rewiring through changes in how you feel each day and how you respond to certain situations.
It is also important to remember that gratitude is not just a statement that you make, but an internal feeling. Just like joy, love, sadness, and anger, it is something that you feel from within. So, if you don’t truly feel that sense of gratitude from within, then it will be difficult to feel the benefits. That doesn’t mean that the practice won’t work though! It might take some time for you to start really feeling thankful for what you stated, so even if you don’t feel it from within at the start, try to stick at it for some time.
How can you practice gratitude?
- Keep a gratitude journal. Write down 3 things you are grateful for each day. This could be a person or a thing e.g. your best friend, or an internet connection that allows you to access infinite information. Try to think of different answers each day and try to make it specific to that day too.
- Send a thank you card or message to someone – it benefits not only you but also the person receiving the message, so it’s a win-win. This could be for something that they have done for you recently, or just why you’re thankful to have them in your life.
- If you’re finding it hard to motivate yourself to consistently practice gratitude, something that really helped me was to find a gratitude partner/s (send them this article if you don’t feel comfortable asking them!). Make it a daily practice to tell each other 3 things that you are grateful for that day.
- Don’t forget yourself! Say thank you to yourself, for keeping you alive and healthy for all these X years. Acknowledge your strengths rather than only pointing out your weaknesses, and be thankful for how far you have already come – you can also go back and read this when you may be feeling a bit self-critical.
So, to summarise, just try it out! There’s no harm in trying things out that may just really work for you. I know it can sometimes be weird to randomly express huge thanks to someone in your life, so start small, such as with yourself or someone you are really comfortable with, and see how you feel. Remember this is not something that you can simply ‘complete’ then you’re good for the next year. It’s a consistent practice, just like working out. In the same way that you feel the consequences when you stop working out, you will feel the consequences of not working out your mind. And lastly, remember it is okay to let yourself be happy and grateful. Gratitude is definitely not something that has always come easy to me, but since intentionally practicing it, it has truly changed the way I show up each day – and I’m sure it will for you too.
Fee Teng Liew 