Why Self-Care Is Not Just A Plaster Effect

“True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.”

– Brianna Wiest

You know those quotes that you just resonate with so well, and your internal dialogue is frantically agreeing with every word? Well, this was one of those. I get a lot of inspiration from these moments, so when this happens, it automatically gets me into a deep spiral of thinking, writing, more thinking, and more writing. My notes app is uncomfortably messy because of this. But 90% of my ideas reside there, so please don’t steal my phone. 🙂

Anyway, back to self-care. I think a lot of the self-care industry is dominated by ways to cover up our insecurities, weaknesses, and negative thoughts rather than trying to get to the root cause of them. “Go for a walk”, “Drink more water”, “Light a candle”, “Treat yourself”, they say. Whilst these forms of self-care are still important, it only provides temporary satisfaction. At the end of the day, we will still have insecurities and negative thoughts to work through. This does not make us weak or unworthy, it simply makes us human.

To me, there is a whole other world of self-care that exists, that involves trying to understand ourselves, why we are the way we are, and why we have certain thoughts and insecurities in the first place. Like the quote says – self-care is making the choice to build a life that we don’t need to regularly escape from. There is certainly nothing wrong with getting lost in a movie, going on a night out, or booking a short trip to relax and not think about reality for a while. Do what you enjoy, and do what you need to do to feel recharged and well.

However, when we do these things to avoid our feelings or the reality of our lives, we will always feel stuck and will never really find true happiness. True happiness comes when we are committed to working through our weaknesses, insecurities, and negative thoughts. It comes when we invest in the relationship that we have with ourselves, so that we can work in collaboration with our mind, rather than against it. This way, we can truly accept, embrace, and enjoy the life that we have, without needing to regularly escape from it. Moreover, it requires consistent efforts over a long time. It is definitely not a linear or easy journey, in fact, it’s often ongoing and there isn’t really a destination as such either. But I think that’s what makes life interesting – we are constantly learning, unlearning, and relearning as we navigate through the world. There will be some very messy times, which will make some great stories to tell. But ultimately, it is such a rewarding and fulfilling journey when you can see the internal and external changes in yourself and your life.

So, I hope that you have enjoyed this chattier form of blog today, and are somewhat convinced to dig a little deeper to understand yourself. In the next blog, I’ll be sharing some of the ways I practice ‘true self-care’, and how I process my emotions to understand myself better, so do look out for that one. Wishing you a wonderful weekend 🙂