If you’re anything like me, you like to be efficient with your time and may even pride yourself on being able to balance multiple commitments whilst remaining relatively sane and healthy. I’m personally very much of a planner, I like to know what I’m doing each day, when I’m doing them, and what needs to be completed to stay on track. Even though I do try to give myself buffers and breaks within the day, and set (relatively) realistic expectations of what I can get done, I still like to be as productive and efficient as possible.
Now this has its pros and cons. Of course, the pros are that I can get things done, feel good about my productivity levels, and see progress. But a big con of this is that it takes away the ability to just – be a human. Whether that’s saying yes to spontaneous events, doing something that isn’t ‘productive’ without feeling guilty, or not letting my self-esteem be based on my external successes. These are all things that I struggle with, and I’m sure I’m not the only one, since we live in a culture of striving and hustle, on top of making comparisons through consuming others’ highlight reels multiple times per day.
During a couple of busy months of balancing work, studying, and sporting commitments, I reflected a lot on the internal excuses I was making about not making time for myself, for self-care, or time to do nothing. I told myself that this was just a busy period so it was a short-term sacrifice that I would be making. But why couldn’t I make time for myself, despite the busy period? What if there was a time in my future when this busy period, would become the norm? What if it was no longer a busy period, but a busy life? Does that mean I would just never make time for myself? If I can’t make time for myself whilst I have the flexibility of being at University, what makes me think I’ll be able to once I have more responsibilities and obligations? If not now, then when?
After much internal debate and deadlines being over, I enjoyed a much slower week to recharge. Having days to myself, with no to-do list, nowhere to be and no one to see. I now vouch to schedule in days for myself, slower weeks, and even short trips to disconnect from my usual environment. Intentionally scheduling this in allows me to set these strong boundaries to take care of myself, and allow myself to say no to others. Even if I am enjoying what I’m doing in my busy periods, I still want to make time for myself, time for checking in, time for human connection, and time for spontaneity. There is so much more to life than being productive all the time. So here’s a reminder that sometimes doing nothing or having no agenda is okay, and in fact, needed. Take time for simply being, human.
Fee Teng Liew 